Or whatever. I skipped Monday Night Football while my favorite team was playing to go to open mic night and hang out with a girl. That I probably don’t even have a chance with… But she’s apparently even more important to me than football. That should count for something, right?
Lucky break on the name, and the hair was a dead giveaway. Too bad I’m too much of a shy coward to actually do anything about it. Except flirt everytime I see her… I’m good at that! :) sometimes I wish my confidence wasn’t so demolished…
to do my classwork. It has been a long time since i actually vented, so here it comes, youve been warned. Im taking a psychology and a sociology course, and the past 2 days ive been wondering why? Why i am taking them? Why cant i speak up and take a chance? Why am i not doing the work? And why do people suck so much? I can justify them as all being related, but thats not my point. Ever since my A&P class, ive wondered, “where will life take me?” Well, as of now, nowhere. Im still stuck commuting for classes that literally mean nothing to a future career, stuck in a pit of yelling and annoyance i call home, and stuck alone on most nights when i am the most restless. I will admit they are all pretty much my fault.
- Class- Ive had a week to do 2 short essays and study for an exam, and ive written one essay. I have had no will to do the work because i am in the class for all the wrong reasons. Im there because NECC was to lazy to get back to me on the 12 emails i sent them over the summer. I want to andvance my life and establish a career, not work 40+ hours a week for a corporation who could give 2 shits about what i want out of life.
- Chance- Ive been single for 2 years. and quite honestly, it has turned me into an utterly stressed individual who spends ever waking moment trying to do something for the sake of keeping my mind off everything, even if it means a 40+ hour work week that leaves me drained and irritable. And when im not busy, i spend the night bitching and moaning about being restless and all i want is for someone to just take a walk with me, and just talk about whatever, anything or everything. And now there is this girl, Chelsea B, who Angela was going to try and set me up with. Before that happened, she started working at my CVS. And well, Ange was right. Shes JUST my type. And in the mean time, im too shy to really talk to her, and when i do, i usually just stand there smiling like an idiot for no reason. In my mind though, how we live is just so different. We are both vagabonds of sorts, but while i like to go out exploring and such, she likes to go out dancing and such. Its just annoying because i feel like ill get nowhere in pursuing her, but i suppose only time will tell.
- Why do people suck?- is an entirely too broad topic. Controling parents, douchebag exs, people who will argue over meaningless things just for the sake of arguing, liars, animal abusers and whatnot else that lurks in the depth of the scum in the world.
Ill just keep dragging forward the weight of it all until things look up. It could be a week, it could be a year, it could be never. All that counts is that my feet will never stop moving so long as i am still breathing.
And dammit, Chelsea is so fucking adorable! I just want her in my house and/or bed! I wish I want so shy. And her voice is wonderful. She went from blind crush to indefinite crush, especially after singing “Pumped Up Kicks”. I hope she randomly FB’s me or something. She starts working in my store this week so I will be seeing a lot more of her. I hope I can remember how to talk to pretty girls I like, and and also how to breathe. But yeah, on top of that, there were a lot of talented singers there tonight. Ange included. It had been forever since I heard her sing. Biggest attention getter though. This dude called Stevie V. He’s just out of high school, and he’s done some work with hardcore bands. Hes performed with Emmure a few times. I’m looking forward to talking to him again, maybe promoting him a bit. Went back to Anges for a bit afterwards and just talked about life. I feel like ive become a workaholic because i dont have anyone special in my life. She said she thinks I’m strong enough to not need a girl in my life. I really want one though. I’m tired of being lonely and frustrated. It’s been 2 years since I’ve had something. I miss it. But yeah, for those who care, that was my night.
And one starts work at CVS Thursday. And I have no idea what I’m gonna say to her. I bet I’ll just get uber shy and miss out on possibly something nice. 5 days of mental prep and possibly advice might be what I need. I always manage to mrs up from the get go.
A happy one, the girl that Angela wanted to hook me up with, Chelsea B, got the job opening at CVS. So i will be working with her, and possibly working a relationship with her. I hope so! <3 She starts Thursday!